With respect to denouncing perpetrators of sexual abuse and/or harassment inside of the Dharma, Tsultrim Allione is not an example of this in her own Sangha, though she may choose make public denunciations for various reasons.
When Tulku Sang-nag Rinpoche drunkenly grabbed me behind the mandala at Drubchen when I was 20-years old and kissed me, I consulted Tsultrim about the confusing and unsettling event. In response she told me I was a home-wrecker and that I had “been flirting with him” throughout the retreat, so what did I expect? After this I did not know how to act around him. Since he showed particular interest in me I never knew if at some point he would try to kiss me again or if he would ask more of me. I was always uncomfortable and overcome with self-conscious guilt when he visited the land.
When Sey Rinpoche of Manali, India propositioned me for sex at the age of 23, and after I declined persistently harassed me in front of our pilgrimage group for the remainder of the retreat, Tsultrim advised me to keep quiet about the situation so as not to smear his reputation in the region in which he teaches because so many people and monastics rely on him. Likewise, her feedback was that I should investigate the cause of his proposition, because "You have this 'come and get me,' way about you.”
Both of her responses to the inappropriate misuse of power by these powerful men were in line with the standard definition of victim blaming. However, because she was my guru, someone I trusted entirely to know the reality of things more deeply than myself or anyone else, the accusations that I was in-part responsible for these violations effected me profoundly, and I believed that I was complicit in my own victimization, that I “was asking for it.” Sound familiar? It has taken me until now to denounce these teachers for what they did to me because I so deeply internalized Tsultrim’s schewed interpretation of the events.
I was also taught from her council that protecting the reputations of these men was paramount for the sake of their families’, and their students’ devotion—ie their salvation. From this perspective coming forward about these accounts appears to have a karmic impact so broad that is paralyzing to the victim, so it remains on the victims to hold their disturbing secret for the sake of everyone else's benefit.
Historically when young women on staff have been sexually assaulted at Tara Mandala, Tsultrim has denied and minimized the severity the incidents, claiming the victim is projecting their pathology onto an otherwise innocuous encounter, often even using psychologists on her staff and board to corroborate her perspective. Using their expertise to convince the victim they are the problem—a profound and most likely illegal abuse of their expertise. Presenting herself publicly as a an advocate of female spirit, autonomy, and rights, the contrast between what young women have been lead to believe about Tsultrim Allione as a leader and archetypal strong-mother type, and what they experience directly under her guidance is disturbingly dissonant and damaging. I know of multiple cases in which Tsultrim pathologizing the accounts of victims has led to the victim having a total mental breakdown from the conflict of what they know took place and from what they are being told didn’t take place, or “wasn’t that bad.”
My experience with Tsultrim Allione using my previous history of abuse to repeatedly insubstantiate my account of sexual violence in my relationship with Eric Sutherland among these other experiences were critical factors in my decision to leave the Tara Mandala Sangha and strongly contributed to my disillusionment with Buddhism entirely.
I hope you will leave this post as if you are an advocate of women and their sexual safety, the truth is more important that the conflicted private and public images of Tsultrim Allione.
If anyone who reads this has any questions, I am available to answer them. I am no longer keeping the secrets of men and people in power.
I am sure I will necessarily be labeled pathological, or perhaps deserving of the advancements of these teachers by people in the Buddhist community, and most likely Tsultrim as well, as that is a very effective way to invalidate the experiences of others. But in the spirit and power of #MeToo, I encourage those who feel most threatened by my account to listen to the stories you don't want to hear. There is good reason so many young women come to Tara Mandala doe-eyed and leave in pieces.
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